[分享]大家一起来笑一 笑拉,记得用普通话喔!!!

guanyu 发布于2005-4-14 00:25 596 次浏览 6 位用户参与讨论   [复制分享主题]
<P ><FONT face="Times New Roman">(</FONT>一<FONT face="Times New Roman">)<BR></FONT>  <BR>  与同事到外地出差,当地的同事热情好客,当晚便在一特色酒店的包间设宴接风。男男女女十几个人落座后便不停的聊天,只有一个人在点菜。点好了,征求大伙儿意见:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>菜点好了,有没有要加的?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  这种情况,我们在北京一般是让服务小姐把点过的菜名儿报一遍。于是一位北京的哥们儿说:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>小姐,报报。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐看了他一眼,没动静。<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>小姐,报一下!<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>哥们儿有点儿急了。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐脸涨得通红,还是没动静。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>怎么着?让你报一下没听见?<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>哥们儿真急了。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  一位女同事赶紧打圆场:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>小姐,你就赶紧挨个儿报一下吧,啊。<FONT face="Times New Roman">”<BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐嗫嚅着问:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>那,那<FONT face="Times New Roman">……</FONT>就抱女的,不抱男的行吗?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>噗!<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>边上一位女同事刚喝的一大口茶全喷前卫身上了。十几个人笑做一团,小姐更是不知所措。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">(</FONT>二<FONT face="Times New Roman">)<BR></FONT>  <BR>  上菜了,先上一个拌拉皮儿。一大盘拉皮儿端上来,接着是几碟儿配料、酱汁儿什么的。小姐上菜的时候没留神,一滴酱汁儿洒在一位哥们儿的裤子上了。那哥们儿也是成心逗闷子,假装阴沉着脸问小姐:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>怎么办呀?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐很冷静地说:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>怎么办都行。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>那你说怎么办?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>您想怎么办就怎么办?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>那你们这儿一般是怎么办的?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>要不俺帮您办?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>好呀。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  只见小姐麻利的把几碟儿配料、酱汁儿一股脑倒在拉皮儿上,一手拿筷子,一手拿勺子,刷刷几下就拌好了。然后对那哥们儿说:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>先生,拌好了,可以吃了。<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>哥们儿努着眼珠子瞪着那盘子拉皮儿半天没说话,另一位同事替他跟小姐说了声<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>谢谢<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">(</FONT>三<FONT face="Times New Roman">)<BR></FONT>  <BR>  上主菜了<FONT face="Times New Roman">——</FONT>烧羊腿,一大盘肉骨头,一碟子椒盐儿。一位北京哥们儿酷爱这口儿,毫不客气的抓起一羊腿,咔嚓就是一口,呱唧呱唧的大吃起来。小姐一见,说道:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>先生,这个要蘸着吃。<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>哥们儿将信将疑的看了看小姐,又看了看当地的同事。当地的同事说:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>蘸着吃好吃一些。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  哥们儿于是拿着羊腿站起来,咔嚓又是一口。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐赶紧过来问:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>先生,您有什么需要吗?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>啊?没有啊。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>那请您坐下来吃。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  哥们儿嘀咕着坐下来,看了看大伙儿,茫然若失。小心翼翼的把羊腿拿到嘴边,小心翼翼的咬了一口。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐又说:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>先生,这个要蘸着吃。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  哥们儿腾地一下站起来,挥舞着羊腿怒气冲冲的嚷:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>又要站着吃,又要坐着吃到底怎么吃!?<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  <FONT face="Times New Roman">(</FONT>四<FONT face="Times New Roman">)<BR></FONT>  <BR>  酒菜满席,领导跚跚而来。满座起身相迎,一片寒喧之声。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  旁边侍宴的服务小姐甚美,新来,经验不丰,颇有些紧张。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  众人落座,有人招呼:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>小姐,茶!<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐忙近前用手指点:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“1</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">2</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">3</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">4</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">5</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">6</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">7</FONT>,共七位!<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  众人哂笑,领导补充曰:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>倒茶!<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐忙又<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>倒查<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>了一遍:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“7</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">6</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">5</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">4</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">3</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">2</FONT>、<FONT face="Times New Roman">1</FONT>,还是七位。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  有人发问:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>你数什么呢?<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>小姐犹豫了一下小声答道:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>我属狗。<FONT face="Times New Roman">”<BR></FONT>  <BR>  众人怒,急呼:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>叫你们经理来!<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>,经理入,垂手讪笑,问:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>诸位,传我何事?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  领导曰:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>别多问,去查查这位小姐年龄属相。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  经理纳闷,依命而行,旋来回复:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“18</FONT>岁,属狗!<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  领导大笑,众人大笑。领导海量不做追究,众人雅量不便追究。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐、经理如坠五里云雾。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  酒过三旬,上来一道菜:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>清炖王八!<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  众人皆喜,然未忘规矩,有人以箸拨王八头曰:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>领导动动,领导动动!<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  领导看着被拨得乱颤的鳖头,心中不悦,既不愿谐了此言的尾音又不愿违背了众人美意,于是乎持勺酌汤,曰:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>好,好!大家请随意。<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  又有人奉称曰:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>对<FONT face="Times New Roman">----</FONT>王八就该喝汤!<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>领导气得几乎喷饭。<FONT face="Times New Roman"> <BR></FONT>  <BR>  未几,汤将尽,有物圆圆浮出,问:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>小姐,这是什么?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐忙答:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>是王八蛋。<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>众人又惊喜:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>领导先吃,领导先吃!<FONT face="Times New Roman">”<BR></FONT>  <BR>  这次领导没听到<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>晦气<FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT>之言,甚悦,唤小姐:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>给大家分分!<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  良久,小姐不动,领导怒问:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>怎么,这也分不清楚吗?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  小姐为难的说:<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT>七个人,六个王八蛋,您叫我怎么分啊?<FONT face="Times New Roman">” <BR></FONT>  <BR>  众人听罢,个个伸脖瞪眼,满口美食,难以下咽。</P>

已有(6)人评论

kiqihi 发表于 2005-5-15 10:32:08 | 显示全部楼层
<P>最后那个,,看不懂!</P>
ekj 发表于 2005-5-15 10:53:42 | 显示全部楼层
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猎人J 发表于 2005-5-15 11:05:53 | 显示全部楼层
睇过了.......我顶.
funearth 发表于 2005-5-15 15:39:09 | 显示全部楼层
第一个睇吾明, 最后果个米讲果D人以为小姐讲他们六个系王八蛋咯
magi 发表于 2005-5-15 16:53:29 | 显示全部楼层
<P>都几好笑下</P>
: |/ C3 j( ]1 ~6 b; i9 P<P>......</P>. a$ k$ ?; d9 O: t2 r2 v( B  D, H
<P>其实都系麻麻姐</P>
Mickey 发表于 2005-5-16 04:17:59 | 显示全部楼层
<P>OK啦</P>
" k& e4 o5 ?7 \4 b% E8 j6 t<P>都是因为普通五好闹的笑话</P>
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